Monthly Archives: November 2014

Gathering up the crumbs of a smashed Jolly Jammer biscuit may not seem to be Caveman, but in my loincloth and with my set of primal rocks outside in the garden, it is.

The craze to eat Paleo is becoming a growing lifestyle, and since it’s in our heritage it’s worth investigating. So there I was sifting through Food Lovers market, with my Paleo quick reference page in my left and the Paleo Plate smart phone app in my right, trying to pick out the most ‘legal’ items off the shelf. The reference page basically stating, if it once had a face, eat it. If it’s processed don’t. Within minutes, I’d livened the trolley with lots of now dead vegetables. Once upon a time, these items where rarely found in such abundance, sought after as high end commodities, these meant life. Today they’ve become second nature as we’re able to grab or buy what ever is on the next corner.

I’d taken my loot of high end commodity home, laid it out on the counter as if it were time for framing the prized possessions, instead I bring out the western worlds cutting board together with my knife and in a trio of horribles, we three transform the natural supplies of the world into something perceived as pretty. Often in this process removing some of the most valuable and nutritious elements. In the blender these now transformed natural supplies go, and in the push of a button, a massive ear squelching buzz, the natural supplies are ready to be consumed without chewing.
They call this Paleo. It’s caveman food. Except they didn’t have a 6000rpm blender from Mass Mart. In a blink, I was ‘roughing’ it, I pinched my nose closed and placed my lips on the rim of the cup of anything goes. The now puree form of what could easily be Hulk’s semen, although led to believe, is ever so healthy for you. Without considering alternatives the green machine had left it’s load in me, I was now healthy and I’d conformed to societies status of caveman food. In a completely uncaveman fashion.

Although there is peer review proof that the wheat of today is causing health problems, the fact still remains the same, I’m yet to find a simpler way to crush my Jolly Jammer.